The Pentanath: Adventures in the Avathar
A Posthumous Writing of The Watcher of Tol Eressea
Chapter 21: Book 3 - Passion's Afterglow
by Sienna Dawn

Haldir made love to Lisse once more, bringing her to a peak of pleasure that each time was higher than the last.

Haldir was enraptured by Lisse, her touch, her silken skin, her voice as he pleasured her, her sweet demands to take her again, or to take her deeper or faster. In turn, Lisse learned under Haldir what he enjoyed and how to pleasure him, and she took great delights in the moans of ecstacy she was able to draw from him.

It was well past midnight and the couple still hid amid the deep groves. The velvet expanse of sky above them was their only cover and the sparkling stars their only light. Everything about them was bathed in the silver frost of starlight, their bodies glowing softly with the natural alabaster incandescence possessed by all the Quendi. The breeze from the sea caressed them with chill fingers but their heated lovemaking kept them warm and flush. The night was still and silent save for the occassional moan of pleasure.

Haldir was stretched atop Lisse's body, leisurely suckling on a rose-tipped nipple as Lisse ran her hands over his hair. Suddenly she arched and a furious orgasm shook her body.

Haldir smiled and kissed her lightly, "Ummm....I like that very much." His eyes covered her nude body languidly, and his hand went to cover a breast. He licked the tip of an ear and then inserted his tongue inside its gentle coil, suckling it to its tip. Lisse groaned and arched her body in currents of pleasure when she felt Haldir enter her once more. Throwing her arms around his strong back, she arched her back in pure pleasure and began to meet his slow thrusts, loving the sensation of fullness he gave her. Haldir in turn delighted in Lisse's liquid heat and he moaned loudly when her body contracted around him. Bracing himself on his arms, he looked into Lisse's face and saw her eyes were closed and her lips slightly parted and swollen from their kisses. The sight of her brought a tingling current into his body and in seconds he arched into Lisse, driving deeply inside her body and he found a sweet release, realizing that Lisse too was arching and bucking below him, as her legs widened even further to give him a deeper access. Spent, Haldir collapsed on Lisse, listening to the sweet gasps and the steady thrum of her heart. Gently, he rolled over and held her to him, her head resting on his chest. His hands slowly stroked her back. Neither spoke. Eventually, spent and sated, they fell asleep.

Lisse awoke, cuddled into Haldir's embrace, his arms cuddling her, spooning into her body. She sighed and turned, feeling Haldir stir behind her. Half turning, Lisse laid flat on the ground, the stars above her gently sparkling. She judged it to be close to dawn. Turning her head she looked over at Haldir. His face was still, peaceful and she sighed again. Even in sleep he was beautiful. Turning over on her side, she cupped her hands under her head and she thought. She should be happy, shouldn't she? Then why did the emptiness in her soul persist? Why did she feel as if a wide gulf now stretched between her and Haldir? Lisse felt a dull pain etch its way into her heart and tears came to her eyes. She knew the answer to her silent questions. Of course she knew. She ached because she had surrendered herself to one who merely took her for pleasure, perhaps he felt fondness, enough to bed her, but he felt no love.

A sob escaped Lisse and she sat up, not wishing to weep in front of Haldir, suspecting his hearing was as keen as his eyesight. She brought her knees up to her chin and she rested her head upon them, thinking and trying to sort out what had just happened.

Were they bonded now? Lisse sighed again. Abruptly she felt a hand caress her back and she jumped, startled by the touch. She turned and was met with Haldir's soft smile.

"What is amiss, meleth?" He sat up too and gathered her into his arms. Without knowing how, he could feel the tension in her spirit.

Holding her away from him, he smoothed the hair away from her face.

A tranquil silver gaze graced Lisse's serious countenance and Haldir smiled. "What furrows so your brow, my sweet?"

Lisse chuckled and shook her head, "Never will that Lorien speech fail to endear you to me." Her voice was a soft whisper and it served to make Haldir desire her the more. Lisse felt his embrace tighten.

"Then I shall speak naught but Lorien speech for you, meleth." He brought her close and nuzzled her neck. At her low moan, he smiled and flicked his tongue near her ear. She shuddered. Next, he twirled his tongue inside the coil of her ear and this drew a low moan.

"Why have you been so angry with me these past weeks, meleth?" His voice was a sweet whisper, so unlike the other Haldir that he showed to the world. That Haldir was polite but aloof, observant without judging. Yet, the Haldir in Lisse's arms was all tenderness, all love and warmth. She saw that in truth he did not understand her anger or her pain.

She knew the time had come to explain. No matter how it cost her.

Turning to face him, she cupped his face in her hands. "Haldir, the truth is that you never stopped loving Min, did you. I was but a memory of that love and you convinced yourself you loved me but you did not." Her voice faltered and tears came to her eyes.

Haldir stared at Lisse, stunned, shocked. This was her torment? She believed he did not truly love her, that he loved her only because she reminded him of Min?

"Lisse," he began, seeing the tears now coursing down her cheeks, "Meleth nin, I do love you." He reached out and brushed the tears away from her face. "I know not where the idea came into your lovely head that all you are to me is but a mere memory of your mother." He saw Lisse's nostrils flare and she began to weep in earnest, dropping her head on his chest.

His own emotions a confused maelstrom, Haldir pondered before continuing, choosing his words very carefully. He knew everything was balanced upon the next moments.

"Lisse, I love you as I have loved no other." He tried to lift her chin to meet his gaze, but Lisse stubbornly clung to him. "Min was dear to me, yes, but I know enough to realize that what I felt for her was and will never be the same that I feel for you."

"Lisse" he forced her head away from his chest and met her gaze. Her eyes were red from weeping and the sadness in their depths broke his heart. "Oh, dear one," his voice dropped and again he wiped the tears from her face. "Do you not know you fulfill me? You complete me? I am but one half without you."

His eyes were clear and earnest, burning with the intensity of his feelings for her. How could he voice the words he never thought he would ever say, or let loose feelings he had trained himself to crush? He knew that he had to reveal his innermost soul to her for with Lisse Nyere no less was sufficient.

"Lisse" he began carefully, "it is the custom of the elves of Middle Earth to marry by the time they are one hundred. But love sometimes does not come quickly, and sometimes comes not at all. It was like that for me." He held her gently, watching her face, conscious of every movement she made.

"I watched my friends fall in love, marry, have children. Then shadow came, meleth and elves seldom married then or had little ones to raise. So many sailed for the West. Those who remained behind fought for their lives." He met her eyes.

"You say I am a great and wise elf." He smiled. "But the truth is I did nothing that hundreds of other elves did not do. We had to fight to live and sentimentality often was a weakness that lead to the path of doom and death. We learned to shield our hearts. Maybe" he looked pensive for a moment, "this is why Men came to believe the Quendi did not love as they do."

He smoothed her hair and noticed she had ceased weeping. "I had never thought of love or marriage. I had no time for it; and I feared it."

He heard Lisse gasp below his chin and he chuckled. "Oh yes, as you said, the "great Marchwarden", yes, I knew fear. I feared if I loved and lost then I would be condemned to an eternity of pain. Mandos does not always release the souls of those who wait." Haldir added gently, almost as an after thought.

"So when I came here, I found in Min a gentle love, but not one that fulfilled me nor completed me. That love was to come many years later, that love was you, Lisse."

Haldir stopped speaking, his emotions now so raw and uneven that he knew he could not trust his voice to continue without breaking.

Lisse gave Haldir an uncertain smile. "Haldir." she began and reached to caress his face. "What am I to your years of life, your knowledge. You have seen and done things I will not ever know or understand. How can you even be interested by me?"

Haldir smiled and cupped her face, "Nay...even the small and young, they too have wisdom. Wisdom comes not in the number of years of a life." He peered into her face. "I am not a wise elf, Lisse. I merely know my mind on things. I too have made many mistakes in judgement. Do not mistake a long life with wisdom, meleth. One does not always follow the other." His gray eyes gazed into Lisse's face with meaning.

"And as to your comment on my finding you interesting," he smiled seductively, "you have no idea of how I have had to stay my hand, or my arms, from gathering you to me, lifting you into my embrace and taking you to a secluded grove where you would tell me your wildest fantasies and I would attempt with all my strength to fulfill them for you."

Lisse looked up into Haldir's eyes and found he was gazing at her, a look of unfanthomable emotion written upon his face. Could she trust his words? Why did she feel such a bond to this elf? She knew she had to unburden herself completely.

"Haldir," she began slowly, "I ache, I hurt." She sighed, looking away from him and toward the dark groves.

Haldir frowned, "Have I hurt you in lovemaking, meleth." His voice was worried. He wanted to take her slowly, give her time and felt awash with guilt knowing he had caused her pain. "Please forgive me, meleth." He added in a quiet voice, gathering her back into his arms.

Lisse shook her head, "Nay, that is not what I mean." She closed her eyes, draping a hand over his abdomen. "I mean, I ache inside, Haldir, I hurt with the sorrow of uncertainty." She hugged him to her.

Confused, Haldir replied, "How so, meleth? Of what uncertainty do you speak?"

Lisse sighed. Dared she voice her fear? She decided she would. She must or she would sunder her relationship to Haldir, this night, forever.

Drawing away from Haldir, she cupped his face, saw the tenderness written upon the smooth and fair planes of his face. He watched her steadily, waiting. "Haldir, I must know this: who is thy mistress?"

She saw his eyes sparkle with the light of a thousand stars and she blinked. Had she truly seen that? "Haldir?" She asked him softly. "Will you tell me?"

Haldir waited for the touch but it never came and so he realized he was alone, adrift, in this moment. Looking steadily into Lisse's eyes, deciding to tell her all because he loved her beyond his love of life, he replied simply, "It is She."

Lisse frowned, "She?"

Haldir nodded and reached up to touch her face. "She who kindled the stars in the heavens, whom the Quendi of old call Elbereth, Queen of the Stars." He looked into her eyes seeing the shock of recognition come over Lisse's face.

Abruptly she dropped her hands from his face. "Nay!" She breathed, her eyes wide. "That cannot be!" She backed away from Haldir. "That cannot be!" she repeated and turned her face away from him, rejecting his words, scooting away from him and then turning back once more to look into his face. She saw he watched her with infinite sadness.

Haldir's heart ached. Had he lost her? He had feared this moment. Why had the Lady not guided him? He sighed and made to move toward Lisse, but she shook her head and stood.

"Nay, Haldir," Lisse said, standing and collecting her clothes, "say no more."

Haldir watched Lisse dress and in moments she was fully clothed. He waited, hoping she would turn to him, ask him the many questions he knew she must have, but they never came.

Lisse walked away from Haldir, paused for a moment but did not turn. In silence she shook her head and left the hidden grove as the first tendrils of dawn filtered into the skies of Hrive.

*** End of Book 3 ***
*** Book 4 to follow ***

Key:

Meleth = beloved

Hrive = December

Quendi - race of elves

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Disclaimer: All familiar characters are owned by JRR Tolkien and are used without permission. No monies are being made from this work.
Painting is taken from John William Waterhouse's "Miranda", 1875.

Graphics copyrighted Cari Buziak